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    招聘会上的经典语录
      
        1、师夷长技以制夷
     
        到外企应聘,人家问我选择理由,我竟然说了句:“师夷长技以制夷!”遂被当场赶出。
     
        2、小庙容不下大菩萨
     
        和同学一起去招聘会,最后我们两个都被拒绝了。同学问我过程如何,我得意地回答:“你应该听听人家最后是怎么对我说的!”然后,我清了清嗓子:“人家说:‘小庙容不下大菩萨!’”
     
        3、双向选择
     
        到招聘会,见展位就投简历。其中一个展位实在没得投,直接投了个招副总的。招聘的MM看着我说:“你觉得我们现在就把这个公司交给你,我们放心吗?”我说:“有啥不放心的,我们是双向选择嘛!”
     
        4、招还是不招
     
        一公司展位前人头攒动,很多应聘者被直接拒绝。一位老兄在人群中杀开一条血路,挤到桌前,挥舞双拳大吼一声:“你到底招还是不招?!”
     
        5、讲个冷笑话
     
        一著名企业家亲自主持面试,我忐忑地递上简历,企业家没问别的,只是说:“讲个冷笑话吧!”
     
        我吭哧了半天,终于想出一个关于鹦鹉的笑话:“一个人去宠物店里买鹦鹉,店主对他说:‘我们有三只鹦鹉,蓝的会讲四种语言,卖1000元;红的能讲六种语言,卖3000元;那只黄的不会讲话,卖5000元。’‘怎么会这样?’这个人叫道,‘它可什么都不会啊!’‘是这样的,’店主解释道,‘我们也不知道,但其他两只都叫它老板。’”
     
        讲完后,我脸色发青,心里知道这次又完了!
     
        6、不要笔记本
     
        来到招聘会,将精心制作、激光打印出来的一摞厚厚的简历虔诚地递上,对方一句话将我打入谷底:“对不起,我们要的是简历,不是笔记本!”
     
        7、怕留不住
     
        一女同学,优秀得让我们自愧弗如,但她应聘的经历最惨,屡遭拒绝。有一次,她终于忍不住,打电话到单位询问被拒理由。对方倒很坦然:“你这么优秀的学生,我们怕留不住!而且,你如果没几天出国了,我们就浪费了一个招聘名额。”
     
        8、老板,要招小工吗
     
        虽然只想当个小工,但到了人才市场,只见人山人海,密不透风。俺并没有往里面挤,心想:“凭俺这条件,找个小工岂不是小菜一碟!”于是俺等啊,等啊,等到太阳下山,也没人来招聘俺。眼看就要没戏了,这时有个人快步走过来,俺连忙整理了一下头发,只要他开口,无论什么条件,俺都答应了。
     
        他过来只说了一句话:“老板,您要招小工吗?”
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      其他很搞笑哦!但第一句不知啥意思?
      忘我地赶路是我当前的生存状态!
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        支持一下!
        班主任之友感谢您的参与
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          [QUOTE][B]下面引用由[U]美丽的心境[/U]发表的内容:[/B]

          其他很搞笑哦!但第一句不知啥意思?[/QUOTE]
           
          外企 就是外国人的企业  应聘时说:师夷长技以制夷
          呵呵  不好应聘上啊
          欢迎来班主任之友论坛做客
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            感谢宋老师多日以来对开心一笑的深度支持!谢谢!
            [URL=http://www.bzrzy.cn/bbs/a/a.asp?B=302&ID=88842][B]教育长短句[/B][/URL]  [URL=http://www.bzrzy.cn/bbs/a/a.asp?B=202&ID=107969][COLOR=red][B]走出迷茫[/B][/COLOR][/URL]  [URL=http://www.bzrzy.cn/bbs/b/b.asp?B=304][B]开心一笑[/B][/URL]
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              挺休闲的
              班主任之友感谢您的参与
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                问候小宋老师!今天是圣诞节,送上我最真诚的祝福,祝您圣诞节快乐!身体健康!一生幸福平***!
                因爱而生,为爱而活。

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                  Living Water

                  This happened a long, long time ago, when the cedar, the fir, and the pine still had needles that yellowed and dropped in the fall instead of staying green all winter.

                  Once in those olden times a Tofalar went out into the woods to hunt. He walked and walked, and he came farther than any hunter had ever dared to go. He saw a bog so vast that no beast could have crossed it, no bird could have flown across.

                  And the Tofalar said to himself: [url=http://www.saleveling.com]wow power leveling[/url],

                  "If our animals can't run across this bog, and our birds cannot fly across it, what kinds of animals and birds live on the other side?"

                  The more he thought about it, the more curious he became.  This site is on the Crushers:sbm。

                  "I must find out," he said to himself. "Whatever happens, I must get there.

                  And so he took a good running start, and leaped right clear across the bog. He looked around: the same earth, the same grass, the same trees.
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                  "Silly!" he said. "There was no need to jump."

                  Suddenly his mouth dropped open with wonder.

                  In a little clearing stood seven harnessed rabbits. They stood quietly, waiting. Then seven people came out of seven burrows in the earth, exactly like all people, only tiny. When the rabbits flattened their ears, the people were taller than the rabbits. When the rabbits' ears stood up, the people were smaller than the rabbits.  Went to eat, while repeat.

                  "Who are you?" asked the Tofalar. "We are immortal people," said the tiny men. "We wash ourselves in living water, and we never die. And who are you?"

                  "I am a hunter." [url=http://www.myromanticbridal.com/buy-wedding-dresses.asp]wedding dress[/url],

                  The little men clapped their hands with joy.

                  "Oh, good! Oh, good!" they cried in chorus.

                  And one of them, the eldest, with white hair and a long white beard, came forward and said:

                  "A terrible, huge beast has come into our land. We don't know where it came from. The other day it caught one of our people and killed him. We are immortal, we never die ourselves, but this beast killed one of us. You are a hunter---can you help us in this trouble? Can you hunt down the beast?"
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                  "Why not?" answered the Tofalar, but to himself he wondered: "Will I be able to kill such a frightful beast?"

                  However, he went out to track the beast. He looked and he looked, but could find nothing except rabbits' footprints. Suddenly, among the rabbit prints he noticed the track of a sable.

                  "Oh, that's too fine a quarry to miss," he said. "First I will get the sable, and then I'll go on looking for the terrible, huge beast." [url=http://www.Rarereplica.com]replica watches[/url],

                  He found the sable and killed it. Then he skinned it and went on with his search. He walked the length and breadth of the little people's land, but could not find any trace of the beast.

                  So he came back to the little people and said to them: "I could not find your terrible, huge beast. All I have found was this sable." And he showed them the little sable skin.  This is the next

                  "That's it, that's it!" they cried. "Oo-h, what a huge skin, what thick paws, what terrible, sharp claws!" And the eldest of the little men said to the Tofalar:

                  "You have saved us and our people! And we shall pay for your kindness with kindness. Wait for us. We'll come to visit you and bring you living water. You'll wash in it and will become immortal too."

                  The Tofalar jumped back across the bog and went back to his valley and told his people about the little men.

                  And the Tofalars began to wait for their guests, the immortal little men.
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                  They waited one day, two days, three days, many, many days. But the guests did not come, and the Tofalars forgot about them and their promise.  This site is on the Crushers:sbm。

                  Winter came. Everything around was frozen. And the bog was covered with a coat of ice.

                  One day the village women went to the woods to gather firewood. Suddenly they saw a little herd of rabbits galloping their way. They looked again, and saw that every rabbit was saddled, and in every saddle sat a tiny man with a little pitcher in his hands. The women burst out laughing at the sight.

                  "Look, look!" they cried to one another. "They are riding on rabbits!"

                  "And look at the little men, how funny!"

                  "Oh, what a joke!"

                  "Oh, I'll die laughing!" [url=http://www.topSwissreplica.com]replica watches[/url],

                  Now, the immortal people were a proud race. They took offense at this reception. The one in front, with white hair and a long beard, shouted something to the others, and all of them spilled out the contents of their pitchers onto the ground. Then the rabbits turned and hopped away so fast that you could only see their white tails flicker.  This site is on the Crushers:sbm。

                  And so the Tofalars never got the living water. It went instead to the pine, the cedar, and the fir. And this is why they are fresh and green all through the year. Their needles never die.

                  Living Water
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                    祝福是份真心意,不是千言万语的表白。一首心曲,愿小宋老师年年平***,岁岁如意!
                    因爱而生,为爱而活。

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